The Lack of "Rivals" 🦹

July 18, 2025

Hey there,

Do you have a rival?

I expect the answer to be "no", and it's a very normal thing. Especially after high school, the average person's level of competitiveness seems to go down. And at the same time, in the media we consume, the concept of rivalry has a central place, and is one of the main reasons why some shows/books are remembered — you have your Goku vs Vegeta, Naruto vs Sasuke, Harry vs Draco, etc.

Honestly, I think there are some missed opportunities for growth cause of this, though.

There is a healthy version of a rivalry that optimises for sharpening instead of belittling the other side. Where both sides end up better because of the competition than they were beforehand. Where the sense of drive is meaningful and productive.

But somewhere between university and adulthood, it gets harder to find that. Everyone stays more and more into their own lanes, building careers, relationships, lives — independently. And if you're even a little bit ahead, the comparison point disappears. You might be working twice as hard, climbing a steeper hill, but there's no one else on the path to remind you why.

I feel like this is a product of us now as adults needing to work on many different fronts at the same time, sometimes just to stay afloat. You need to feed yourself, earn money, and exist in society as a productive member of it. And as a result of that, it's difficult to say whether you're ahead or not when compared to any other single person. If you're doing a better job at the gym, it doesn't mean that the other person isn't doing a better job at work, or on the family front. Even the meaning of "doing a better job" is heavily subjective. There isn't a standardised test that can match us up anymore, not on any one metric.

And so, what do you do?

If you're like me, you improvise (unintentionally, and subconsciously).

You start conjuring rivals in your head — past versions of yourself, idealised peers, imagined future threats and competitors. You picture them waking up early, training harder, shipping more, becoming more composed and charismatic day by day. You don't hate them — quite the opposite. You need them.

Because some part of you still wants that push. The sharpened edge of a worthy opponent. A silent pressure to not drift. A reminder that you could be more.

But here's the twist I've been thinking about lately — what if the absence of rivals isn't a loss of a feature, but just a new and bigger test? One where you've evolved to the point where you need to conjure the rivalry yourself.

A test to see whether you'll keep going without being chased. Whether you'll hold yourself to the same standards without the eyes of an opponent, or a scoreboard of any kind. Whether you'll still get better, even when there's no one to beat.

Maybe that's the real final arc — learning to push not against, but towards.

Towards mastery, or more depth. Towards being the kind of person you'd be in awe of, if you met them at 17.

In that sense, the eternal rival isn't gone, they're just not found in the external — they're the ghosts we're chasing in our minds now. 👻

Weekly Insights

• Peak summer is here, and it's certainly felt in the air — the humid, 40°C air. 🔥
• While that makes working at the office (or anywhere really) kinda difficult without your brain melting. But at the same time, it feels great to wake up to the sun, finish work when it's still sunny out, and even have sun late into the evening too. Certainly made the 10 pm gym workouts much more enjoyable than they would have been in the winter.
• Also, it's currently the prime season of hangouts — Sofia feels quite lively, with or without the occasional protests (as seen in pic #2). 🫡

Series Highlight: Money Heist

"Money Heist" or "La Casa de Papel" is the most recent series I've decided to spend my evenings on — so far I've just gone through the 1st season, so I still expect surprises.

As the name suggests, it follows the attempt of a band of thieves to go through a bank heist — not just any simple robbery, but they try to rob the Spanish Royal Mint, which proves to be a challenge. The squad is your typical "found family" trope, where each of them uses a codename that is a major world capital, like Tokyo (the MC), Rio, Berlin, etc. They have been preparing for the heist for months before it happens, so they get close, and the show follows the robbery with quite a few flashbacks into their family dynamics from a few months beforehand.

Just from the 1st season, I think it's a mixed bag. On one hand, it's quite entertaining, the characters are very charming, and you root for the bad guys, which is always cool. But on the other hand, the whole plan goes awry too many times — they survive and go on on pure luck at times, and they rely too much on things going 100% as intended. It kind of takes you out of the flow of the series when it stops being believable, and plot holes become more apparent.

But still, I'm willing to give it a chance and watch through the remaining seasons, to see how much better it can get. So far, 5/10, but with potential for more! 💪

Worth Watching This Week

What I Wish Every Guy Knew About Tough Times by Noel Deyzel — a grounded, no-nonsense pep talk for getting through the rougher patches.

No one wants friends anymore. by Behaviorized — a thoughtful read on why adult friendships have quietly become rarer, and what we can do about it.

Closing Thoughts

Till next week, stay safe, stay curious, and keep kicking. ✌️